Hello everybody!
I know it's been awhile since I've posted. I've become more of a lurker than a blogger this last year. That's a good thing for the most part. Life with William is still pretty good, although we did have a few issues arise earlier this year. A couple of months ago, I noticed a few "warning" signs - he had failed to orgasm twice in a few weeks (first time since discovery), he wasn't remembering what I told him, I had to email him at work to tell him something, etc. - and I mentioned exactly that to him in just about those words "I have noticed some warning signs that concern me." I dropped the subject and the signs went away...but my "spidey-sense" tingled again about 6 weeks later. Nothing as specific this time, but he seemed "distracted" and was wanting sex less often, so just on a hunch, I brought it up to him one evening for a brief discussion. I was not confrontational, but told him again that I saw a few things that concerned me. He admitted to slipping and masturbating a few times. We talked - and I pointed out that even if it only happened a few times as he said, I could tell something was different. No matter how much control he thought he had over AGP, obviously that was not the case. It's been okay since, but I have learned that this journey is never over. William will always struggle to control his AGP...which is okay - as long as he doesn't give up. And neither will I.
Anyway, my main reason for posting today was to add two new blogs to my links section. Jack has posted them on his website also and I checked them out today. Michael's story is very similar to my William's, I think, but Michael and Rebecca are choosing to deal with Michael's AGP in a slightly different way than William and I have. I admit to a great deal of curiosity as to how it works for them! As I have said before, everyone's relationship is different and they have to define the boundaries for themselves. I wish them the VERY BEST of luck on their journey...
Susanne
Rebecca's story http://agppartnership.blogspot.com/
Michael's story http://agpadventure.blogspot.com/
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I cross dress whenever I receive the sense of needing to do so and what it does is to connect me internally with my feminine side.
ReplyDeleteAs for masturbating all men do that, yes even priests and monks, it is perfectly natural/normal.
I agree that masturbation is perfectly normal/natural, however most people use it as a substitute for sex, not the other way around. When one spouse's preference for masturbation OVER sex interferes with their relationship with their spouse, it crosses the line into addiction. This is true whether you are a heterosexual, homosexual, or autogynephilic.
ReplyDeleteSuzanne,
ReplyDeleteI recently discovered your blog from links to other blogs. I've been reading yours and others that you have linked to as well. You sound like a very reasonable, thoughtful, and wonderful wife. I hope your husband realizes how lucky he is. I understand his struggle with AGP and it has hindered my ability to have successful relationships. The hardest part is sharing that with a potential girlfriend but as a single man with a dating history I've come to realize lying or denying is not going to result in successful intimacy. I have been working on my own compulsions in this area even as I stay single so that I will have more success staying connected with a partner when that time comes. I look forward to more of your posts and hope I can contribute wisdom and support to you, your husband, and others dealing with this. A supportive community is such a valuable resource.
You've probably read "My Husband Betty" by Helen Boyd but if you have not, she has a lot of interesting things to say about partners dealing with AGP. In my opinion, you already are successfully dealing with it in a healthy manner.
Just want to throw out there that some men go through times of having trouble with erection or orgasm just normally. I have a crossdressing history, and even though I have not done anything with it in a long time, I still have trouble with erection or orgasm or desire for my wife once in a while (but not usually). It's not always because I've failed and given into crossdressing desires. Sometimes it's just low libido, and some of it is training myself to desire my wife rather than crossdressing.
ReplyDeleteI like to wear my seamed stockings and suspenders, black bra and crotchless panties with a tight cockring more and more and everyday. I am even wearing them under my work clothes. Should I be worried about this or just simply enjoy it?
ReplyDeleteLike your stuff is really nice and interesting..
ReplyDeleteThanks
Seems to me if you keep pressuring him like you do you are going to make partner sex stressful and unpleasant and he will turn to masturbation more and more because it is the only sexual experience he can have where he feels totally relaxed.
ReplyDeleteWilliam is a grown-up and as such, he has the right to do whatever he wants to; he always has. But so do I. And I have made enough compromises. I will not compromise on this one (I have explained why in severa posts.) If William doesn't like it, then he has several other options available to him. I just will not be along for the ride with him...
ReplyDelete