Thursday, February 18, 2010

Same Ol' Same Ol'

I feel like most of my postings recently - and likely in the near future anyway - will be saying a lot of the same thing. "Things are pretty good. We're feeling pretty stable. Still a few issues to work through, but overall, we're OK. " So...there you have it. Nothing much new today as far as the AGP goes.

The dialogue in the comment sections of my last few postings has been wonderful. William is still trying to get through it all, but he can relate to quite a bit. It's generated a bit of discussion between us as to the many different ways that one can deal with AGP. It's a case of "to each his own" - we feel that each person's case of AGP is unique, so each person's "solution" will also be a bit different. Over Christmas, we talked about having him wear nighties a little more often, but after more discussion, William has decided that it is not something that he is really interested in doing. As all of his cross-dressing is sexually-based, he feels that wearing a nightie with no sex would more likely lead to frustration than satisfaction. And that could lead to more urges which he does NOT want to deal with. So...we've taken that off the table for now. And that's fine with me as so far, he's been able to manage his urges.

I didn't put a name on it until I saw this in one of Chris/Colin's dialogue comments, but I had an "ah-ha" moment when I read it. William is exploring his masculine side in the bedroom now. We haven't talked about it, but he's made a comment or two to that effect. And there is a difference in the way he touches me when he is "discovering" vs his "regular" touch. Not good or bad...just different. I like that he feels safe enough with me to try to push his comfort levels.

I debated about mentioning this, but I guess I will: it has been a stressful few weeks for me as I deal with the loss of my grandmother. We were very close and although I knew her time was coming, I'm still struggling with it. William has been beyond supportive through this. I've been distracted and off-kilter - and he's had my back the entire time. He's always been a good spouse, but this...this is what I always wanted. My dream come true. He's my "someone who watches over me." I can't tell you how much it has meant to me....and how glad I am that we have worked so hard to get through all of this. And I hope he knows that if/when our situations are reversed, I'll be his "someone who watches over him" also. For that's what true partners do, they love and support one another, especially through the tough times.