Friday, May 7, 2010

A Pattern Emerges

Hi all,

It's been awhile since I've posted anything, so I thought I'd get out a quick update. It's odd to think about life pre-Sept '09...and yet, sometimes...this new life almost seems surreal...

A pattern has emerged. William doesn't like it much when I point out, I think he'd prefer to think that "it" was not predictable, but it's undeniable. He's on a 28 day cycle, just like me. His cycle starts with "normal, sex as a male is good" only a couple of times a week. As the cycle progresses, William's desires gradually escalate both in frequency and in his interest in feminizing during sex. It culminates with a big session of role reversal in full drag followed by a cessation of his desires for several days. I have had issues with the "down time" after the "big event", so following the last couple of cycles, William has made efforts to reduce the number of "down days" after to only 3 or 4 - and that has worked for me.

The obvious pattern further emphasizes to me that AGP is fundamentally biological. And in some ways, it's another piece that makes it a little bit easier for me, less personal. My sense of control likes knowing what to expect and when. On the other hand, it can be frustrating when William resists recognizing it. (Not sure why - maybe the "control" again?)

I have to say, eight months post-discovery, that overall, life is excellent. It does sadden me, sometimes, to think about having to deal with this in our lives. I don't dwell on it - it's not worth it, it just crosses my mind occasionally. Then again, no one's life is perfect...and I wouldn't change one other thing about William, so ultimately, it's just life... and it's good.

Hope all is well with all of you out there. God Bless.