Saturday, July 17, 2010

Life is Good!

Hi all!  Just a quick update.  Summer has gotten quite busy with the kids and, and, and.  So I haven't had a chance to blog.  But William and I are good. Good enough that we are putting ourselves to the test.  Prior to my discovery, we had started a process to do something.  Something big. Something that will cause some changes in our life, but will also likely bring a certain level of stress with it.  After all, even good things can be stressful.  Anyway, this spring, we had sort of a "now or never" decision to make - so after much (MUCH!) discussion, we elected "now."  So it's started...  It's a good thing.   

This week was a big week in that process, probably the biggest one that we'll have, truthfully.  I've been a bit worried how this would affect William, me, us, our marriage, everything.  Well, maybe not really worried, per se, after all, we talked about this a LOT before we proceeded.  But perhaps...aware?  We are really trying to focus on "us", on our stress level, and on reducing that stress level while we go through this.  William wanted to do a "big" dress this week - out of cycle.  Which means he is under more stress.  At first, I was a little upset (at myself for continuing on with this project), but then I thought about it more.  Actually, his request was a good thing.  It means that we are identifying our stressors and working hard to relieve them.  Working together.  Talking together.  Talking things out.

And we're good.  :) 


  1. Good to hear things are going well. Keep up the slow and steady pace and thank you for providing hope to some of us out here.

  2. Hi Susan, I am glad that you and William are doing well. William is lucky to have such an understanding partner. Keep on loving, Suzie

  3. Hey Susanne,

    This is "just Chris" posting, although I am going by the handle "Christine" these days.

    I'm glad to hear you and William are doing so well. When you say "Big Dress" does that mean clothes, makeup, and wig?

    I also wanted to update you on my situation. My wife and I have gotten into counseling with a therapist who specializes in gender identity issues. She has really helped us to sort all of this out and give us some guiding principles for moving forward.

    Last Saturday, my wife re-met Christine for the first time 12 years. We spent a few hours together playing wii games and a little yoga. We were both really nervous about it, but once we got started it was surprisingly comfortable for both of us.

    When I first started reading and posting here, it seemed so unlikely or impossible even that my wife and I would ever be where we are today. It has not been easy by any stretch but the payoff is priceless

  4. Hi Chris - I'm so glad to hear you and your wife are doing well! I'm sure that will continue to be ups and downs, but you are absolutely right - the payoff is priceless. No matter how hard it is, the fact that I'm with someone who considers me and our marriage worth fighting for is wonderful. I'm curious a little bit about your counselor. We approached our counseling as relationship/communication, etc and avoided the gender identity aspect of it (William's still not ready to explore it any deeper than what we already have). Does your counselor focus on the gender identity or is it also more of a "relationship/marital" angel?

    And in answer to your question - a "Big Dress" for William, at a minimum, involves clothing/lingerie, high heels and a wig - and always culminates in full role-reversal sex. If the children are here (after bedtime), this is usually accomplished relatively quickly and in the privacy of our own bedroom as he/we don't want them to know about this. But if the children are gone, he will add make-up, fingernails and jewelry and spend a few hours dressed around the house before sex. A "smaller dress" might only involve one article of clothing such as a nightgown or even just heels and generally leads to "straight" sex. Generally, the amount of clothing he wears tends to increase as he goes through his cycle and the sex gets kinkier (sp?) until it culminates in the "Big Dress" - although we do take advantage of opportunites as they arise, even if it's outside of his regular cycle.

  5. Hi Christine,

    I am happy for you. It sounds like you are exploring who you are and your wife is on board. I think that it is important to be yourself regardless of who that is. You go girl!


  6. Thx to both Susanne and Suzie for the nice comments :)

    To answer your question Susanne; our counselor has focused on the both the gender identity and relationship/marital angles.

    Her expertise in this area has been immensely helpful in addressing the plethora of unanswered questions regarding my gender identity and what it means for our relationship. A lot of old fears have been put to rest.